


in which eiji finds embarrassing stuff ash wrote about him

by kain_art



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:22:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21662131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kain_art/pseuds/kain_art
Summary: Eiji's face grew pink; all he expected to see was some kind of note about an upcoming affair Ash had, not... whatever this is. Is it a love poem? it must be, Ash even called Eiji his in it so--- so that means...He looked away from the page to where Ash was, only just realising that his green gaze had been trained on him the entire time. His face was also aflame, and he tried to conceal it by tucking his arms in closer. His voice came out tiny."Don't you know it's impolite to read other people's things without their permission?"
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 11
Kudos: 288





	in which eiji finds embarrassing stuff ash wrote about him

**Author's Note:**

> hello banana fish fandom, back with another cure for bf depression :) asheiji fluff :) :)
> 
> i love writing them as big saps

"Here's your coffee."

Ash looked up, dazed and still holding on to the edge of the dining table for stability. Eiji's voice had only made him want to crawl back into bed and let the remainder of the day wither away. If he were more honest, he'd admit he just wanted to snuggle with Eiji no matter where. 

"...Thanks..." He accepted the mug with both hands, afraid to drop it, and frowned at the loud clattering of Eiji's chair as he moved to sit next to him. The boy beamed at him, bright like the sun, and Ash had to squint to face him.

"Looks like someone's still half asleep. You're making that funny face cats make, like--" he scrunches his face, an impossibly cute gesture, "--which means I've gotta toss you into the shower again, right?"

Ash blushed almost imperceptibly. The thought of Eiji seeing him (mostly) naked didn't embarrass him nearly as much as circumstances of becoming so. He's supposed to be Ash Lynx, the ender of lesser men, and yet he had been pushed into a shower by his crush.

"...Mmph, no need for that, unless you're just tryna catch me naked again~" Ash winked, coy and confident, before sipping some coffee. It's black with minimal sugar and cream, enough to jog his arrogant facade.

Eiji's face shifts from teasing to irritated. "Americans are such perverts." He slid the newspaper on the table far from Ash's reach, smirking as he did it. The little shit.

"And you Japanese are super shy. And greedy, by the looks of it." He reached slowly for the newspaper, knowing Eiji would intervene to stop it, and anticipated the momentary contact. But to his surprise and partial disappointment, Eiji didn't move. He seemed engrossed in the pictures laid out before him.

Upon closer inspection, Ash noticed all the pictures featured him. Him, with a towel on his bony shoulders, a small smile on for the picture. Him, rubbing at his eyes and fisting the bed covers as close as he could, practically buried under them. Putting on a shirt. Wiping his glasses clean while reading. Him, just being.

Ash smiled, less coy and more soft, before saying, "Pretty focused on him, aren't you? Looks like you have a crush--"

Eiji said nothing but pinched his nose with a surprising speed, still focused on the pictures. At Ash's whine, though, he couldn't restrain a giggle. He looked up at Ash, smile more evident in his eyes than his face, and said,

"Maybe so."

\-------

Ash understands that he's conventionally beautiful. Blonde hair, green eyes, and a mindset that betrays his youth. A grace that came from training, which he knows how to use to get what he wants. Those aren't all positives, but fair enough, right?

Eiji, on the other hand, goddamn. Some have referenced that he's cute, but to Ash (objectively speaking), he might just be the most beautiful person he's ever seen, through and through.

His inner beauty seems to waft out in waves, or filter through like sunlight (he can't decide; both are accurate), encapsulating and warming everything in the vicinity. Like Ash, for example.

He's kind to everyone without ulterior motives. Ash once caught him taking note of the slang Bones, Kong and Alex tend to use, practicing them for the next time they meet. He'd whip them up snacks and meals too when they came over sometimes, messing up the slang and letting them look at his photographs. 

He takes pictures of everything he finds interesting; he finds beauty even in the ugliest of things (once again, like Ash).

Even now, as Eiji shifted about on the couch with a book from Ash's library balanced on his chest, he looked beautiful. He could wax poetic about the way Eiji's soft dark hair fell in tufts over his round face, the way some of the afternoon light that peeked through the blinds caught his eye, striking golden honey tones from his regular pretty dark browns. He could even talk about the slight quirk of his mouth whenever he read something humorous (subtle dimples to boot), or the way it flipped when something tragic happened.

But more than that-- more than any of that-- he could think about the way Eiji looked at him. Sometimes Eij would look sad, as if recalling a past memory, but once he looked up to trouble himself he'd light up like a Christmas tree. His smile would come as if by instinct, enticing him with the comfort of his presence, eyes a swirl of emotion Ash was much too afraid to name. But sometimes, Ash would indulge him in it, just a bit.

Today might have become one of those days if Ash kept staring like the absolute buffoon he is. He turned with reluctance back to his own book, leaning against their shared couch with his legs outstretched, missing Eiji's subsequent stolen glances. Idiot.

\----

"What do you want for dinner~?" Eiji called from the kitchen. It seemed his voice didn't reach Ash from his study, so he left the kitchen and knocked softly on his door. No response.

Eiji slowly twisted the doorknob, hoping Ash wouldn't resent him for interrupting what could be some intense work. It creaked open and revealed stacks of books scattered all over, some shelved and others open around his desk. The nearest lamplight glowed faintly and illuminated Ash's figure as he snoozed quietly over his desk.

Eiji huffed, the action tinged with concern. Ash often slept for long periods of time when he got home, but he usually was up for dinner. He moved closer to where Ash was hunched (probably uncomfortably) and watched his face for any signs of nightmares. Thankfully, he seemed to be having a peaceful sleep for once. Ash's sleeping face really did betray what he could be capable of, Eiji thought, and decided that he preferred the Ash who knew peace. 

There were a few odd strands of hair splayed over Ash's face, likely from his habit of running his hands through it all the time, and Eiji moved to tuck them behind his ears. He could tell from the blonde's slight flinching that he was aware of Eiji's touch, but didn't move to stop him. The thought made him smile, and he brought up his other hand to hold Ash's before he noticed the papers tucked under him. They were written in neat cursive and Eiji distinctly made out his own name written down.

He grinned mischievously to himself, slowly inching some of the paper out, while Ash subconsciously turned his face the other way. He perched on his knees, bringing the lamplight closer to the edge of the desk and began to read.

'Birds sing beautiful songs and populate the trees with their harmonies.

They fly freely in the sky, unafraid and unfamiliar with confinement. 

My Eiji is superior to both, but even he eats worms.'

Eiji's face grew pink; all he expected to see was some kind of note about an upcoming affair Ash had, not... whatever this is. Is it a love poem? it must be, Ash even called Eiji his in it so--- so that means...

He looked away from the page to where Ash was, only just realising that his green gaze had been trained on him the entire time. His face was also aflame, and he tried to conceal it by tucking his arms in closer. His voice came out tiny. 

"Don't you know it's impolite to read other people's things without their permission?"

"Sorry... I just saw my name written down and assumed that it was something... uh, different."

"I see..." The silence after that seemed to stretch onwards almost uncomfortably. Ash was about to say something, anything to convince Eiji that his feelings were platonic, that he hoped he wouldn't leave, but it was Eiji who spoke first.

"... What did you mean by me eating worms?"

"Huh?"

"The worms, Ash. You wrote about me eating worms."

"Oh. I was talking about your love for natto."

Eiji's expression tightened. "How dare you compare natto to worms? Just because you have bland taste, doesn't mean--"

"It's the perfect comparison and you can't convince me otherwise. Besides, didn't you read the rest of it?" Ash said, the confident mask already slinking its way past his borders. He can't know, shouldn't, and yet he wants him to know desperately. 

"I did."

"And what did you think?"

Eiji just stood there awkwardly, his mind dominated by a million thoughts a minute. It was accurate to say that he and Ash had been dancing around each other for long enough that Eiji dissociated from his overt romantic feelings. There was always too much danger, whether from Dino's men or from Ash's logical dismissal of unnecessary complications, to really think about what he'd do if Ash reciprocated. He didn't think that much was even a possibility despite their casual flirting, given the boy's past, and was content to keep it to himself. 

But now Ash was looking up at him, almost composed and still, eyes cold. His hands gripped his sleeves slightly as he tried to fix his face into a confident smile, but it only came out weak. Eiji stepped forward, not knowing what would come out of his mouth until it was said, but he had to say something!

"Ash, I--"

The sound of a phone ringing emanated from Ash's hoodie pocket -- the contact flashed Alex. He glanced up at Eiji one more time before accepting the call. 

"Boss! This is bad, we've got a situation on our hands... some of our men have been ambushed..." Alex reported, and it occurred to Ash once again why he feared getting closer to Eiji. This kind of danger would actively target him if they ever became a thing (which, judging by Eiji's hesitance, is an off shot --- makes sense though, Ash is just a dirty killer after all). He rose from his seat, hung up after saying he'd be there soon and moved past Eiji towards the door. 

"Did something happen?"

"Yeah, just gotta take care of some things... I'll be out late probably, so you're better off not waiting up for me." 

"Oh." He sounded like he wanted to say more, or maybe Ash was hoping he would. He just watched him as he donned a jacket and his shoes by the front door, leaning against the wall, motherly worry evident. Ash smirked. 

"I'll be fine, big bro. I'm sure of it." Yeah, he assured himself, he'd be fine after a while. He just had to shut off his feelings and adjust, nothing he hasn't done before. He wondered if Eiji could tell he wasn't only talking about the gang situation he had to deal with.

"Be careful... I'll be waiting for you." 

The door clicked shut, just Eiji staring holes into it. Now, we wait.

\---

Eiji had spent a lot of time thinking as he ate and mostly played with his dinner. He should've said something, damnit, because now Ash thinks he doesn't like him. And that's horrifically far from the truth; all Eiji wanted to do was replace all of Ash's hurt with love, love and more love. He more than deserved it, after everything. After Shorter, Griffin, Skipper, and everything that had happened before in Cape Cod when he was only a child.

But, Eiji reasoned, was he really the one to give him all that? People often see him as normal and happy, but that wasn't who he really was. Just below the surface lays a kid who'd failed his fans, his parents, his country by messing up his pole-vaulting, cursed with an irrational cowardice that prevented him from trying again. He wasn't suitable for being Ash's rock when he himself still felt like a pebble that skipped once on the surface before drowning.

He cleaned up after himself, keeping a wrapped plate of food where he knew Ash would see it, and got ready for bed. His mind refused to shut up the entire time, so he decided to watch TV to unwind. CSI: New York, how you've been missed.

At some point he drifted off into sleep, deaf to Ash's stealthy return. The blonde unwrapped the plate before heating it up, reading the cute -- oof, the very regular -- note Eiji had left him, reminding him how long to heat the food up for. He was distracted enough by the doodles in the corner that he forgot to stop the microwave before it sounded off. Shit.

He probably didn't hear that. 

"Ash...?" 

Nevermind.

The dark-haired boy emerged from their bedroom, rubbing lightly at his eyes and practically waddling closer to where Ash stood in the kitchen. I love him, Ash thought, I love him so fucking much. 

"I thought I told you not to wait up for me?"

"...hhhu-- well, I said I would. I think you are smart enough to know I would not listen to you." Eiji's soft accent slipped into his slurred speech. Ash wanted to hug him.

"Right, you're rebellious, my mistake. Anyway, sorry for waking you, but I've returned in one piece so you can go back to sleep." 

"Don' wanna." He shuffled closer to Ash and unintentionally backed him into a corner. He reached a hand out to touch Ash's, partially sobered by the freezing coldness of it. "You're so cold... don't like that."

He curled him arms around Ash slowly, giving him time to resist, but to his relief he stayed still. Eiji leaned his head on his chest, focusing on his heartbeat and distantly thought that it was getting faster to warm his own body up. Because that's how science works.

"Eiji..." Ash's hands remained at his sides, twitching with the desire to hold him, but he refrained. This... this doesn't necessarily mean anything, really. 

"Hrrm?" 

"What're you doing?" 

"Warming you up, silly." He slipped into Japanese, so he can't really be in the right head space for this. Ash held onto Eiji's arms, about to push him away, but Eiji's grip tightened slightly around him. 

When he looked up at the boy in his arms (grown though he was, he's still just a boy), he felt some of his earlier anxieties simmer down. He just wanted to hold him, be there for him.

"Did you not know that birds warm up their chicks when it is cold? So much for that IQ." 

Ash froze. He could feel his cheeks warm at the memory of Eiji reading his trashy drabble about him. He thanks whatever prevented him from reading the others where he is compared to a rabbit, or a doe.

Or... some of the more awkward, potentially explicit stuff.

"Are you making fun of me? That's not very nice, big bro."

"I'm making a-- uh, what do you call it... a declaration. But I am making fun of your IQ, yes." Eiji peeked upwards at Ash's face with a blush of his own. His grip tightened once again, almost unnoticeably, and he spoke with winged words. 

"You are my chick." It came out muffled but Ash was sure he heard perfectly clear, the blood rushing to his ears notwithstanding. He wanted to laugh, to crack a joke about how chick was an odd, outdated word. Instead, he let out an embarrassing hitched breath and just stared at Eiji as though he'd grown another head. Eiji smiled. 

"I am not a great bird, because I am afraid to fall... and I don't think I'll be able to fly very soon, but I want to shelter you. I want to help you fly."

"Eiji." 

"I want to love you."

"...Eiji."

"I love you. Forever."

"Eiji--" Ash pulled him close, as close as he could, and held on even as a few sobs escaped him. He breathed in Eiji's scent as he petted him and whispered to him sweetly. "I-- me too. I love you so much-- it's always been you, Eiji..."

He kept saying his name, like it was a prayer, and dotted quick kisses in his hair. He's longed to do this to the point he could barely hold back. Eiji really took a good look at Ash Lynx, the murderer, the whore, and saw something worth loving. Can't underestimate that photographer's eye.

Eiji's weight in his arms seemed to increase and Ash quickly looked up in worry, only to see that he'd fallen back asleep. The blonde lifted him up and Eiji melted into him in a koala hug. Upon entering their bedroom, Ash thought it might be a bit forward of him to sleep in the same bed, but Eiji was practically glued to him for the first time and he wasn't about to just let that go.

He lifted the covers and tucked the both of them underneath, drawing Eiji close to him, inhaling his calming scent. In the morning they'd need to talk about the complications that would arise from their relationship, but for now, it was enough to be able to hold him tight.

"Good night, love."


End file.
